Highschool's an A Nigma
by acelaces
Summary: A collection of one-shots and ficlets about our favourite teenagers who happen to go to the weirdest school in Canada during a conspiracy that's way over their heads and yet all around them. Multishipping, slash, T for occasional mature themes. Enjoy!
1. Birthday Sunset

**Hey :^) I hope you enjoy my ficlet series. This first part is Lee-centric Friendship/Drama and starts right after Lee's rainy birthday in The Tag-Along. Featuring Lee/Tina and some hinted Chaz/Stepak.**

* * *

The sun was going down and Lee was still at the skatepark. Watching the sunset in between a few kickturns. Oh, and it was his birthday. I guess it should've stood out since it was the first time since The Prank his mom had let him hang out with Cam and Holg instead of getting in the car for a fast (and furious) drive home followed by a long night of homework. They spent some time at the arcade kicking virtual space zombie butt and eating way too many nachos (turns out Holger had brought three flavours of dip). Of course Camillio bet an insane amount of tickets that he'd win.  
"Guess you didn't learn anything since I schooled you last time." said Lee, putting two tokens in the slot. The game started up with its intense intro theme.  
PLAYER 1, READY!  
"Yeah right, get ready to taste defeat!" said Cam, putting two in the next slot and cracking his knuckles.  
PLAYER 2, READY!  
"But we have already scented Cam's feet of bad-smelling- Holger no want to taste them too!" panicked Holger.  
"Dude, it's just an expression! And no talking bout the inking-stay in public O.K like comprende there are girls around." a ticked-off Cam spoke rapidly.

"Oh! Holger is sorry, Holger use inside voice." he said, cupping his hands to his face.

"You walked right into that one." said Lee, with his thumb over the accelerate button.  
GET TO THE BASE BEFORE THE SPACE ZOMBIES MELT YOUR FACE  
"El Cam doesn't _walk_, he_ cruises_- riiiight into the victory zo-oh-one!" he hit the button the same time as Lee and they were off. Zooming ahead past asteroid obstacles and the repeating background of stars.  
"Cruising is right, my mom could fly circles around you." said Lee, swerving his ship in front of Camillio's.  
"It is true, Lee Ping's Mom is greatest at driving in many directions in the same time." said Holger. "Scary!"  
"Scary's the word, man." said Cam, nodding. Lee's ship hit a rogue comet which slowed him down long enough for Cam to skip him.  
"Hey- she's not _that_ bad-" said Lee.

The first fleet of space zombie ships swooped in from behind and Cam fired his lasers seven times.  
"Why aren't you using your launchers? You're short on plasma fuel. Like- waayy short."  
"Hey man that better not be some kinda wisecrack about my small(ish) legs" said a ticked-off Cam "cuz-"  
"No, I mean seriously- you're going down fast." said Lee, aiming a bright blast at a cluster of ships. "Use the launchers- the blinking neon things."  
"What? I thought those were like…_rims_, yo" said Cam. He squinted at the screen.  
"Hang on, why'd they need _wheels_ on a space ship?" said Lee, risking a quick skeptical grin in his direction.  
"I don't know! Maybe its for smooth landings on, you know- uh the really cool planets and stuff."  
"Being chased by a zombie space fleet- pshh..whatever, where the party people at?" said Lee sarcastically.

"Oh no, fancy lights attract…Space Bugs!" said Holger, pointing at the screen. A huge fleet had showed up but neither of them were paying enough attention to notice it. Lee jammed hard on the launch button, even though his aim wasn't so good he managed to wipe out the closest ones just in time. Cam however was struggling to attack the cluster of approaching ships, firing rounds of lasers and picking up every available recharge pack.  
"Which button do I press?" he said, looking around as they advanced on him.  
"Z button, push z button before you go KAFLOUFFERSHOUP!" yelled Holer throwing his arms up like a mushroom cloud.  
"What? You're not making any sense dude! I'm pressing it!" said Cam, balling his hand into a fist and repeatedly banging the shooter.  
"What's wrong, does Camillio need Holger to hold his hand for him?" teased Lee.  
Cam shook his head, flustered- regaining his composure after a glance at the screen.

"Oh no way, homes. I'm in the lead." he said, picking up a booster and zooming to the top.  
"Heh, how bout _were_ in the lead." said Lee, launching his blaster at a comet and using the recoil to propel him forwards.

"Agghh!" said Cam when the final fleet panned in and surrounded him from both sides.  
Lee maneuvered in a zig-zag, narrowly missing one ship and sustaining major damage from another. Camillio's was faster but he couldn't fight off the swarm fast enough with the lasers- which were running out fast.  
He tried to snag a powerup from between two ships but missed. Meanwhile the ship knocked out the one on Lee's tail and he was able to sail forwards.  
"Nonononono come on this is mucho uncoolness" said Cam as the ship spun out of control and crashed fantastically into an asteroid.  
"Yes!" shouted Lee, while the screen flashed and tickets poured out.  
"Whatever man, mine's totally busted." said Cam glaring at his YOU LOSE screen.  
"No it wasn't," stated Lee, crossing his arms. "Holger coached you and you still didn't launch your rockets. You could've creamed me."  
"Mine didn't even have that move- stupid arcade." he grumbled, kicking a bottlecap across the floor.  
"What do you mean, it was just double Z button." said Lee.  
"Ohhh…" said Cam, looking closer at the small white button with red lettering. "Heh- muy loco moment there- I thought it was your accent, dude." said Cam shrugging at Holger.  
"What? 'Ze' is like..French or something." Lee laughed. "So pay up."  
"Holger accepts apology cake- maybe give Holger tickets for buying the ring of moods?" said Holger excitedly pointing at the prize counter.  
"A mood ring? They still make those?" asked Lee.  
"Totally retro, man." said Camillio, leaning on the glass. "But they're his tickets." he pointed his thumb at Lee who took his chance to brag.  
"That's right. Who's the reigning champ of Space Zombies 2? Hint: it rhymes with 'King'."  
"Oh! Holger make guesses…mmmm…maybe...'onion ring'?" suggested Holger raising his hand.  
"Yeah…try again." Lee said flatly before Cam swooped an arm around his neck like he always did when he was going to give him chiquita-tips.  
"Yo,_ those_ tickets could be _your_ ticket out of bad vibes town with Tina-bo-bina, and into-"  
"Vacation resort of kissy-times" said Holger drawing a heart shape in the air.  
"Yeah, what he said. If there's one thing the Camster knows about chicas is that they dig presents, like a lot. Doesn't matter how far you sunk it ese, its like a..like a life boat!"  
"Wait, you're saying you only know one thing about girls?" said Lee, half joking- half trying to change the subject.  
"Bro, I'm muy serious here." said Camillio.  
"I dunno…" Lee said, sighing and looking at his shoes. "I know she couldn't of like- liked me liked me, but at least she could stand to hang around me before… I totally blew it." He could tell Cam was looking at him. He wasn't usually this quiet. Probably thinking of what to say to deny what Lee already knew was true.  
"Yo..I don't think-"  
There was a loud beeping ringtone from Lee's cell. The one he chose to alert Mrs. Ping's calls. It was the same as the school bell because both meant he had to stop whatever he was doing and get moving.  
"Hang on, it's mom."

She was calling to remind him he needed to be home soon. Actually, he had an extra hour but he knew Holger and Cam would just try cheering him up, when all he really wanted to do today was think these thoughts away. Thoughts about Tina, bout the Prank…he just needed somewhere to think before he had to go home. Then he could crash on his bed and sleep. Before he wouldn't have given up a chance to hang out with his best dudes on his birthday, but he'd probably just kill the mood anyways. They could go have fun without him, that was how it was going to be now since it looked like he wasn't getting out of detention any time soon.

"Gotta go." he said, handing Cam the tickets. Cam just kept staring at him like he still wanted to ask if Lee was OK.

"Well…catch ya later homes- Happy B-day!" he rushed while Lee headed out.

"Many Happy Birthday times Lee~!" yelled Holger, waving.  
"Hey thanks guys, catch ya tomorrow."

Lee waved back before the door swung shut.

* * *

After that he went to the skate park. Even though Lee felt better when he was hanging out with his friends, his mind was always clearer when no-one was around..maybe that was why Biffy liked being a loner so much…

Suddenly he felt a creeping up his neck, he knew that feeling by now…like someone was watching him. There was a sound like something creeping in the bushes. A twig snapped.

"Oh hey, didn't see you there." he said, up on my feet and face to face with a guy he'd seen usually seen hanging around Tina with a camera in his hands, like now.  
"Ah it's alright, I'm just getting some shots." said Stepak…yeah…at least Lee thought that was his name…  
"Just getting some footage tests, got a new camera and I'm checking out the specs. Light's best this time of day." he said nodding towards the sunset. You could see his street from here. He wondered when his mom'd be home…  
"You don't skate?" asked Lee.  
"Nah, taped a cam to a board once, got some nice shots- but it broke." he asked- tearing his eyes away from the view and pointing his lens at my board.  
"You do." stated Stepak.  
"Yeah." said Lee. "Been a while. Me and Zed go back."  
"Well yeah, everybody knows you ever since the Prank. Tina says you're up for an interview, but we never did it."  
"Oh. yeah.." Lee remembered his latest messing up of his chances with the girl he'd been daydreaming about since Seventh Grade.  
"So, you up for it? right in front of the graffiti'd be good, then you'd be half in shadow."  
"Uh..well actually I don't really-" started Lee.  
"No, man. It's fine. Nothing dramatic or anything."  
"It's not that, I just mean-"  
"Aha!" came a familiar voice. "I knew I'd find you here Stepak, or should I say Step-in-and-steal-my-spotlight!"  
"Oh no, you caught me." said Stepak, holding his hands up in mock surrender.  
"You'll bet I caught you!" he answered, prodding Stepak in the chest. "Nothing gets past _the Chaz_." he closed his eyes to appreciate the sound of his own name.  
"Nothing gets past a brick wall either." mumbled Stepak, rolling his eyes.  
"Hey!" said Chaz "That's not-"  
"Let me get a shot of you," said Stepak quickly, with a disarming softness in his voice. "Your tan looks great in this light." said Stepak directing him out from the under the tree's shade. Chaz blinked, easily caught off guard by the flattery.  
"Oh yeah? I mean -well _yeah_, maybe tomorrow I'll run a special on how I polish my coiff!" he said patting his pompadour. Just then he eyed Lee just when he was trying to back away.  
"Lee Ping. Care to give me, Chaz Moneranian, the 411 on your latest greatest Big Prank on the entire A. Nigma High population? Any bad-boy trade secrets? Is it true you and the D.o.D are coming out with a duo album? Why'd you go with green paint- (a colour that obviously clashes with your dye job)? Aaand most importantly-"  
"What are you doing here?" came a voice from behind the detentionaire. He turned-

"Tina!" Lee accidentally said aloud and a little too happily…she ignored him and kept glaring at Chaz.  
"You said you were just going to get some new film," she pointed at Stepak before turning back to Chaz "-and you said you had a dame to meet."  
"Well! I can't possibly keep up with all my admirers…" he started explaining.  
"Wait a second Miss-Messy-Split-Ends-I-Could-Die-of-Second-Hand-Embarrassment. What are you doing here?"  
"I got a memo about the Skaters entering the 360 Stunt-athon courtesy of Green Apple Splat." she answered.  
"You did?" asked Stepak "I didn't get one.. dangit, it's cause I'm the camera guy isn't it-"

"No it's not…" her expression changed as she awkwardly tried to fix what she'd said. "They probably just-"

"Uh- yes it is Tina," interjected Chaz, "C'mon tell the truth little Miss…truthy!"

"Is that the best you can think of or did you accidentally shampoo your _brain_?" snapped Tina.

"Ouch, that burns Tina- it really does- almost as bad as your straightening iron- I mean that is what happened right? Cause split ends like that don't happen like magic." said Chaz smugly.

Tina growled and stepped towards him aggressively.

"Play nice, ladies.. we have company." said Stepak making the sign for cut.

"Oh! Lee…" blinked Tina, suddenly noticing he was there. Lee smiled and gave a shy wave before mentally punishing himself for looking like such a dork.

"Uh hello?" Chaz's voice interrupted. "I'm a _guy_!"

"Mmm but you're such a _pretty_ guy." said Stepak in a voice that made Lee wonder if he was being sarcastic.

"Hmph." said Chaz with dramatically folded arms. "That's not going to work on me I- _how_ pretty?"

"Ahem. " said Tina, "Well, seeing as the Skaters aren't here yet..Lee, would you like to do that interview now? Or.."

But Lee was already on his board and heading down the sidewalk.

"Sorry, gotta go!" he called to her apologetically. "-I'll check you later."

Tina slumped her shoulders.

"Ooh" said Chaz, leaning over her. "That's kisses: _zero_, disses: _two_- tune in next time on-"

"Cann it, Chaz." said Tina, before heading off to catch a bus home.

Tina had been distracted all morning- Stepak noticed she hadn't laughed when he nudged her and joked about Chaz's tone-deaf vocal exercises. She looked like she was reading the same line over and over again on the news copy.

"You okay?" he asked. "I could check my filter but you look a little blue…" She smiled weakly at his lame joke.

"It's just…" she began with a sigh, "What do you do if you really want this one …story- but that story keeps slipping away from you before you can get to know him- um...I mean 'it'-"

She looked away from him and fidgeted with the stack of papers. Just then the red light came on, signalling for them to get ready to go on air at the start of Homeroom. Chaz stole one last look at himself in the mirror before rushing to get to the desk first. Stepak picked up his camera and Tina got up from her seat- she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"(Just ask him out already.)" said Stepak, with a little bit of a grin.


	2. Still Sleeping

**Takes place after season 3(!) cliffhanger Robodaddies (Camillio/Holger) hurt/fluff ficlet.**

* * *

"He's still breathing." said Lee, frantic hand on the Viking boy's chest. "It's just like what happened to Niles-" said Jenny, "his eyes went all weird and he said that Latin thing…Manifesto-"

"-Manifestum." corrected Tina.

"Yeah whatever," she said rolling her eyes, "he said that and then there was this light and Holger, he…he-"

To Camillio, everything after Holger's name was a blur of confused voices, of closed eyes.

"Hey dude If this is some kinda joke it's like wayyy overboard ese.. pranking is Lee's thing."he heard his own voice say with an unconvincing laugh that echoed oddly off the walls off the detention room.  
His grip on Holger's hand tightened, he didn't know when his had had found his, but for one wonderful terrible moment he thought Holger had grabbed his like he had so many times before in hallways full of stares, usually before he'd shove him off. He gripped Holg's hand to his chest, his pulse barely perceptible over the his chest which was beating way too loud to make sense (and it wasn't his chain clock since it'd stopped ticking ages ago).  
"C'mon bro, we can't have…" he searched for the words "best-friend-sunshiney-fun-times, or whatever, without you…" his brain was pain salad and eight kinds of mixed up and he felt a weird soreness, like he'd had the empty knocked out of him.

The silence was too intense. The detention room got chilly all of a sudden.  
Cam took off his 'phones and put them over Holger's ears, kinda gently brushing some strands of somehow-less-bright blonde hair out of the way. Time passed, nothing happened, he thought he saw a flutter of eyelashes when he played the dance remix of Eyes as Blue as the Sky and in his total startledness he let go of Holger's hand which dropped limply at his side.

Of course nothing happened. This wasn't one of Holg's stupid stories involving adorable animals and magical unicorns and princesses and stuff. He wasn't gonna just be woken up with a- his thought stopped short and he blushed for like, no reason. As if he'd read his mind  
Holger smiled. He smiled.  
"Oh no- no." he said, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "No-o-o way José- no way am I gonna…kiss you." He whispered the words but it still made his face hot.  
That smile was fading now-

"And don't- don't even try with that whole sad frowny-face thing OK you know that only works on Lee."

He couldn't stop himself glancing back at him though. He was almost completely still, something Holger never was. He was always a blur of giggly,sing-songy weirdness and glitter. Cam had never had time like this..to look at him up close. He was close enough to hear his breathing. It was just like he was asleep. Just sleeping, 'cept all curse-magicky.

It was…soft….warm, kinda. Like his lips would be. Not that he was thinking about doing it.

He clenched his fists. This was a stupid idea.

No-one was around.

A really stupid idea.

"I'm not gonna do it, Holger."

Muy muy estupido idea.

Nobody would walk by here either.

"I mean it ese, there is no way I'm gonna-" he struggled for words again, and he found himself leaning closer to the boy's pink-brushed face, his slightly parted lips "…gonna-" but he didn't finish, his lips were presently flush against Holger's. His eyes screwed shut in focus, which was hard since everything was just a mixed up rollercoaster of feelings looping loco-styles in his chest.

He shifted closer to the desk- he didn't notice his foot getting tangled in the cord of his headphones, which dropped.

It didn't matter, because right now Holger wasn't gone, he was here. Cam knew because it was Holger's hair his fingers trailed through, it was his cheek his thumb brushed over, it was his lips that he felt himself nudge against with increasing intensity and yeah…they were soft- he knew because…because he was kissing him.  
Wait.  
Que?!  
Suddenly he realized what he was doing and pulled back, breathing hard more out of surprise than need. He needed something to happen. He needed Holger to be back, because it felt like every second that didn't tick by -he felt further away. And maybe he wanted him to be closer than close. Maybe he wanted to do that again, maybe. But maybe…maybe Holger was never going to wake up.  
"Okay-" he said, even though he definitely didn't feel that way. "Alright thattotally didn't count."


	3. Dirty Room

**Family fic about Sue Ping pondering Lee and whether she's too hard on him. Family/Humour**

* * *

Sue Ping used to have to yell at young Lee to clean his room all the time, especially after sleepovers with his very short friend- which usually resulted in pizza boxes and video game disks lying around. Checking in after lights out- his room appears to be acceptable now, except for the layer of dust over everything.

She looks closer and frowns after smudging her finger on his shelf and assessing the degree of shameful neglect. She looks around to see the rest, but his computer desk, his corkboard covered in strange pictures and notes, and his bed are not dusty. Only the areas that he has not paid attention to, his algebra textbook for example. She makes mental notes to remind him on the drive to school. She stops herself when she sees his skateboard is dusty.

She picks it up. He used to stay out late, taking the long way home after hang-outs with that Martinez (who she caught sneaking notes under his coat, that weren't even correct!) and that new student, Holgaart who scribbled ridiculous drawings all over his test papers and wrote 'Happy Grading Times!' She wasn't sure if she remembered their names, they weren't here anymore after Lee so boldly ruined his academic reputation.

She didn't understand why, since he seemed so sad now. So quiet. He always looked like he was calculating something, and it couldn't have been math since he told her it wasn't his 'deal' after he dropped out of the club. In fact..he looked like he was scared to say it at the time.

Maybe she was being too hard on him. Maybe he should be allowed to go out with his friends more often, it would probably cheer his spirits. Maybe it would motivate him?

She looks at him sleeping, even when he was asleep- still frowning. She is about to go nearer but her foot hit something. It was a can of paint in the same awful colour that got over everybody's clothes in the auditorium the day Lee had started his prank.

She looks closer at the things on his board. Outlines of the school building pointing out routes in the vents, photos of Lee with the school bully and some rock-and-roll punks taken in the boys bathroom. Queen of Hearts? Mr. Rad? BlueTaz? What were those, streetnames? Was he in a gang?

It was all true, even though at first even she was not sure Lee would throw everything away to become a- a failure!

But it was clear more than ever he was on a road to a very bad place. She would have to keep an even better eye on him from now on. She didn't really know the new Principal, but she could at least talk to Ms. Victoria about all this. She was responsible for discipline and she could see to it that Lee would spend his detentions constructively, and not find himself headed down a path from which he could never return!


	4. The Rift

**Outcast clique Hurt/Friendship fic. One-sided Jenny/Tina, mention of Lou/Deuce. Jenny has to confront her former friends she's been avoiding and it makes her remember why they became friends in the first place. **

* * *

"All of a sudden it's like we're not 'those three weirdos over by the corner table, _we're_ those two weirdos by the corner table and _you're_ that detentioner who's too cool to hang out with 'em!" said Deuce, leaning against his locker. His eyebrows knotted and he attempted to fold his arms while sticking his thumb in his mouth which resulted in a very awkward pose that just emphasized his ticked-offness.

It was after school, a rainy day and Jenny didn't want to bike home in this weather so she'd started heading for the library thinking maybe she'd get in some research in on the mysterious book that had been entrusted to her possession by Lee Ping. Well, her and school goody-twoshoes news nerd, Tina Kwee…the teamup hadn't turned out to be so bad. Okay, maybe pretty good, I mean Tina's press pass did score her some extra lunch minutes. Which they'd spent mostly looking for patterns in that stupid book, a little bit playing rock paper scissors over the last vanilla pudding (so what if she lost- whatever, that was Tina's fave anyway) and somehow arguing over whether Lee Ping really did pick his nose or if it was some kind of social sabotage stunt. Somehow that whole thing got Tina pretty exasperated. Maybe just because she always got that way talking about Chaz's latest scoop? Or maybe it was the Lee Ping thing. Dangit. Even if we didn't bring it up it was always there. Just waiting to wipe the (kinda cute) smile off Tina's (kinda- okay, _really_ cute) face and replace it with that look (sharper than her eyeliner) that said 'I don't trust you.' I hated it. Jenny's instincts told her 'screw it, just bike over to Tina's place and say you're sorry or whatever and to just forget the Lee thing and focus on the book, and then maybe get distracted from the book a little…But Jenny'd caught some of Tina's stupid sensible-smartness and she figured she might as well wait it out instead of risking getting soaked in the rain and catching that weird cold everyone got last term.

Speaking of cold, that was pretty much the treatment she was getting right now. What did Deuce think she'd been doing this whole time? Flirting with Lee in the detention room? The both of them saw what was going on under the school- obviously there was a lot going on right now- robots, monsters, robot-monsters. "I have a lot on my plate okay?" Okay so…maybe she had gotten wrapped up- "so sue me" she thought. The last five years felt totally comatose compared to this! As screwed up as it felt to admit it- there was something thrilling about it. The danger made her feel…tough. For once she was living the Ace Von movie instead of watching it, sitting between Captain Can't-suck-my-thumb-and-keep-my-3D-glasses-on and Mister "Movie theatres have the best floor food." Maybe she could go see the next one with Tina? 'Cept Tina didn't like Ace Von movies. Ugh, she'd probably choose something based on a _book_. But…_maybe_ it'd be worth it for a chance to try putting her arm around the News Nerd. She wouldn't pick her nose for the whole day just to avoid any awkwardness. The thought misted her over a little, before snapping back to the chillyness of the hall with only sounds being the rain dropping distantly and the occasional rattle of the air vents that every A. Nigma student knew could either be due to regular temperature fluctuations or semi-mythical prehistoric reptilians.

She'd run into the two of them (of course they'd be there, all 3 of their lockers were next to eachother. Between the mossy water fountain and the forbidden hallway. 'Yep… _totally_ choice real estate.') When she had to run back to her locker for her library card- she'd never used it till this whole Book thing so Tina had had a good laugh over the student I.D photo of her in her new braces- freakish dental glare and all.

"S-sorry-" Tina had managed to say between chuckles- "it's just- pff- _why_ are you _smiling_ like that?"

"I was being sarcastic- Mrs. Lobb told me if I stuck my finger up my nose they'd use a picture of me from 'when I used to be such a sweet girl' Like, geez lady- I hadn't even _done_ it yet!…I wore a pen grip around my finger and everything. At that Tina had snorted and then they both laughed til it hurt. They did that a lot. With Tina it felt like she'd racked up more smileage than Jenny thought she'd had her whole life.

"It's true…we haven't met at your place since that incident in the tunnels…" said Deuce, his voice echoing eerily off the empty corridor walls. After a moment he added softly, because he was chewing on something blue, "I miss your wall stucco…"

Jenny couldn't stop herself briefly thinking about their rotating sleepover schedule. They did it at a different house each time, three times a week. Her room was messy, with a couple lava lamps and a TV. It had the advantage of a cool creepy attic perfect for evenings spent trying any bizarro ritual or dumb sacrifice that'd get them un-cursed plus Jenny's mom was pretty cool with them staying up as late as they wanted, even though she'd given Lou the wink-and-nudge about his 'little crush on JenJen' until Jenny had taken her aside told her something neither of the boys could hear that had made her stop.

Deuce's room had the advantage of a soda stocked minifridge but the disadvantage of bare metal midnight-snack-sample-proof furniture. He also had a really cute Guinea pig named Zip, which Deuce had told them he caught himself _almost eating_ during his occasional sleepwalks, and so had kept the cage locked during the night (and given each of them a key).

Then there was Lou's beanbag chair-filled bedroom. They called them 'foam bags' to avoid triggering Deuce's panic attacks, and because polystyrene was one of the things on his short definitely-don't-eat list. There was also a pool (Lou had never learned to swim, since that wouldn't involve much mouth/thumb proximity and preferred wearing floaties. Anyone else would've snickered the way Dickie, Lou's next-door-neighbor did one time over the fence and with a pretty sizeable teen party crowd that made for one of those jeering chuckle sessions that lasted long enough to say _'it's not that funny -but we just don't like you!'_ Jenny and Deuce didn't laugh. One good thing about being Outcasts was that you couldn't be judged by your fellow Outcasts- you had to stick together. But Jenny was the first one to take a stand. First she glared while Deuce nibbled some of his pool noodle. Without thinking she started in on their latest totally bogus anti-curse chant. They stopped laughing almost at once, looking weirded out. Deuce shrugged and chimed in with his lower voice.

"Heh. Can you believe these nerds?" Dickie said, but looked around awkwardly and they could tell they had him spooked. They didn't stop chanting till the crowd had turned their attention back to their backyard DJ who'd just announced that one lucky kid would win a cooler of Green Apple Splat by the end of the night. Jenny grinned, then Deuce snorted and Lou spat out his thumb they were laughing so hard. As much as it stung, high-school rejection was nothing new to the Outcasts and even if Trevor might yank his lunch right off his tray tomorrow going "_you're just gonna eat the tray anyways_," even if nobody picked her for dodgeball again and gave her the classic "you can _pick yourself, like always._" They'd have eachother's backs, especially if somone had just stuck a post-it saying "_I suck my thumb, please kick my butt_" there. And, as Jenny put it, "It was totally worth it to see the look on Dickie's icky face."

Years of road trips and beach trips where there was too much sand on everything to suck or pick or eat anything. And too much fun to even want to. Late nights, cram sessions, moviethons, soda binges, dateless school dances when after leaning against the wall of shame for ages, Jen would sigh and dance with Lou, then Deuce then Lou and Deuce, then go get some punch while the two of them shrugged and danced it out. (Another plus to being an Outcast was being invisible when you weren't sticking out like a sucked thumb). The dance was followed by an oh-so-romantic ride on Lou's segue home, for a minifridge full of soda and maybe some drinking games.

When you're untouchable you learn to stick together, you need to. Jenny knew it was messed up, this 'rift' or whatever. But she knew deep down that she wanted things to change- I mean all three of them did. But she was starting to think maybe what she'd wanted wasn't popularity- the shiny lockers and caf sushi and VIP tickets and teen parties. The more she'd delved into the twisted world that was Lee and the whole Prank-spiracy, the more she felt like she was finally getting what it was that she craved. Action. Whether it was racing Hazmats or punching out psychos or running from blue Tazzes or -or even flipping pages in a big weird book. It was awesome, and being an Outcast kinda starts to feel like being stuck to a table, literally, and it sucks. It just sucks, curse or no curse, being stranded on the island of loserdom sucked. Getting banned from Home Ec _sucked_. And if Outcasts aren't supposed to judge eachother- what was up with this whole interrogation? Did they stop to think maybe she was doing something important for once?

"It's better than sitting around that table- at least I'm actually doing something other than feeling sorry for myself." snapped Jenny in self-defense…and only_half_ regretting it.

"Uh, hello? Earth to Jen- we're working on a cure here, remember?" answered Lou, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Oh _yeah_, another _mystical_ Taz whisker -real _breakthrough moment_ there. Alert the media!" scoffed Jenny, rolling her eyes more sarcastically than usual.

"Are you…questioning the power of the whisker?" replied Lou, incredulously and in a low voice, as if the gods of teenage social status would hear.

"The first one tasted terrible-" added Deuce quickly, "-that means it's got to work! I read that off a carton of cough syrup…" he trailed off, "carton tasted good though.."

"I'm not saying the whisker is bogus-" Jenny answered, "Okay, maybe I am, so what? _This_ _whole thing_ is bogus. Who says there even _is_ a curse? What if it's just _us_?! What if we could've stopped any time we wanted?" said Jenny, looking at them hard. She hadn't realized the gravity of her words till they'd hit Deuce and Lou the way they'd hit her the first time Tina had said them. They'd been poring over the book and Tina insisted on being the one to turn the pages, she was always shifting away from her like that and Jenny had a hard time telling whether it was her finger or her entire being that Tina was repulsed by.

"No offense but…maybe the nose picking is just a bad habit you uh…picked up?" Tina winced at her own accidental pun,

"I mean, it just doesn't make sense why anyone would hypnotize high school students into putting their fingers up their noses-"

"Well at least I don't put my _foot_ in my mouth." Jenny'd said through gritted teeth. It was easily the meanest thing she'd said to Tina, whose wounded expression gave her a tinge of guilt. She'd just been trying to help, in that annoying, intrusive way she always did. In that doesn't-even-kinda-get-it I'm-so-clean-and-perfect-and-cute way. If there's one thing that AV geek had taught Jenny it was that the truth could hurt.

"If it's so bogus then why're you picking right now?" asked Lou, smugly. His face had gone from shock to a smile that practically hummed 'one of us, one of us.' Jenny hadn't even realized she'd stuck it in there. Stupid reflex.  
"I only do it when I'm stressed out (I think…) Okay, Lou?!" she shot him a glare that hopefully overpowered her blush.  
"Well you must be _plenty stressed_." quipped Lou. For just a second Jenny saw that smirk she'd seen a thousand times before. _From Dickie._

That did it.

"Y'know, I don't pick my nose around Tina, she says I'm doing it like, wayyy less! Soon I won't even do it, like…at all!" Jenny glared at Lou, clenching her fists tighter partly out of rage and partly to prevent any more accidental picking.

"Well that tears it then. If you're not really cursed- _I guess you're not an Outcast anymore._" said Lou, shrugging emphatically. The hall was silent for a sec and suddenly she felt the full distance of it stretch between them as he walked away before Jenny could search his face for any sign he didn't mean it. That hurt.  
But Deuce was still there.  
"Deuce-" Jenny started, softer, she felt like the wind had been kicked out of her.

"I guess you got what you wanted…" he said, his voice breaking slightly under the weight of the words. "you're free from the Outcast curse- and, I guess… free from…us."  
Jenny opened her mouth but no sound came out. She reached forwards but Deuce flinched and stepped back a few steps before turning around and following Lou down the corridor and out the doors.

Jenny's knees shook involuntarily for the brief moment she allowed herself to sorely, acutely feel a part of her life cave in. Then she sniffed, she steeled herself, grabbed the Book and prepared for the task at hand. "I'm gonna figure this out…for us." she said to the hallway, to herself. "And if you guys were right about the whole curse thing- soda's on me."


	5. Coffee

**Chaz/Stepak, flashback fic. Stepak's POV. Romance?Friendship?(teenage) Drama?**

* * *

**People don't usually switch cliques at A. Nigma. But I never really belonged where I started. And it took me a while to realize people could get your name right and do you wrong. You picked your clique for protection, for friendship, for perks.**

**We met over coffee.**

* * *

Chaz and me. It was early- right before school. I wasn't really a morning person but the Tree Huggers were planning to paste posters protesting the treatment of the bird watcher's club getting new cages. Suzie was super anti-cages.

"Cages are the physical manifestation of the Man's dictatorship!" she said, loudly, into my phone that morning. To tell the truth _Suze_ had been starting to tick me off. It was cool at first when I'd just hit Tenth Grade and I finally felt like I found somewhere I'd fit in. After the A.V subset of the Genius club lost it's appeal (it was just a bunch of geniuses getting time off class and making in-jokes about how the lunch lady's beige casserole looked like fractal soup.) After my first unlucky run-in with the Jocks ("Your name's Step? Haha- check it, guys- I'm pushin' Step here down the steps!") I realized I'd be better off laying low if I couldn't find a clique.

I met her in the caf at the end of my first and roughest week of 10th. It was sloppy Joe day and I wasn't too psyched. Over at the VIP table they were having what looked like sashimi rolls and caprese pizza. Over here for the masses was Sloppy Joes, Sloppy Joes and more Sloppy Joes.

"Uh, hi... vegetarian, here." I raised my hand a bit so the lunch lady would see. Without turning her head she pointed some hamburger-encrusted tongs over to the far end of the food line where a sign marked 'salad bar.'

"Oh. Cool" I said, and walked over. Lo and behold- a pile of wilted cabbage topped with mayo. My stomach groaned and I almost considered it- then there was another angry rumbling- this time from the ceiling. A vent popped open and the strange red be-sweatered reptilian thing we had as a school mascot appeared, hissing. He looked hungrily at the food line, but tasted the air with his tongue and recoiled.

"Me too, buddy." I mumbled. He then set his sights on the kitchen door, I know it sounds weird to say a lizard/demon/thing was smiling but yeah- he was smiling. Probably thinking about the furry rodent Lunch Lady stepped in front of it and clicked her tongs like she was ready for a tussle. Then she cupped her hand to her mouth and yelled "We got a code 22-09, Tatzlewurm in the cafeteria!" Almost on cue two janitors appeared at the entrance to the caf and the Taz hissed venomously before darting back up the vents, narrowly missing a net gun blast which landed on the lunch lady's head instead. I stifled a laugh and she glared at me so I backed up and that was when I bumped into Suzie Elliot.

* * *

She was a skinny white girl with a slight sunburn, green wood-framed glasses and pale blonde kindof-dreads that she covered with a paisley bandana.

"This salad bar is completely sub-standard and gross. Ugh. Doesn't this school _care_ about vegetarians?" she said sharply, not stressing -or even noticing that I'd stepped on her sandal-clad foot.

"Yeah!" I chimed in, "And how come the cool kids get their own catering? What's that about..."

"It's a complete hierarchical power structure based on superficiality and social status." she said, crossing her arms. Someone knew some big words. I struggled for something substantial to add.

"-Yeah!" I said, giving what I hoped looked like a righteous frown, "It's totally...bogus!"

She nodded and then gave a small smile.

"Exactly! It's good to meet a like-minded individual around here. Want a seat with us over at the non-carnivore table?" she gestured over to a table near the western wall of the caf, over by the recycle bins where two guys were sitting. One with sleepy eyes, peach fuzz and a wool hat, the other with beatnik glasses, lank brown hair and a red beanie. "Sure!" I said, half out of hunger and half out of social starvation. (I was pretty sure the only talking I'd been doing for the last week had been into my video camera...I'd been trying out an inside A. Nigma intro thing that had met a bad end down the Forbidden Hallway.)

"Should we-" I gestured towards the sad salad display. For a reply the girl just grabbed a bread roll, one of the green jellos they were serving up and moved on, I followed suit but took an apple instead of the jello. "No jello?" she asked on our way to the table.

"Nah, it's got gelatin in it. S'not Halaal so-"

"Halaal? Wait, you're Muslim?" she asked. For some reason I raised my hands defensively, since the stuff that usually follows that question isn't so fun. I nodded. "Right on!" she finished, she looked...fascinated actually. I found myself smiling out of relief. "Yeah..."

"Wait- halaal...isn't that for meat and stuff?" she tilted her head quizzically.

"Well, yeah. Gelatin's a meat derivative- I think it comes from bones." I shrugged. For one second she was speechless, then she realized she'd reached the table and slammed her tray down.

"Did you guys know gelatin comes from the suffering of poor defenceless animals? Because I for one am furious that the Man doesn't even label these things!" She brandished the jello cup in the air and it wiggled non-threateningly. The guys at the table looked down at their trays- glasses guy gulped- he'd already started eating his.

"Sometimes I feel like this entire civilization is built on lie upon lie." she said, crossing her arms. "Oh yeah, and this is- uh..." she realized she hadn't asked me my name.

"Stepak." I said. She put her hands on both my shoulders, presenting me to them. "Stepak's new here. He's Mu-" she stopped herself. "He's a vegetarian."

"-So you're enjoying Sloppy Joe day about as much as the rest of us." finished the guy with the peach fuzz. Name's Stu."

"More stew? Asked the other guy with the glasses. He started scooping some thick soup out of a thermos.

"Not stew, Stu!" said Stu loudly, pointing at himself. Then he turned back to me,"This guy's Saul, he's not so good with the hearing."

"Hi!" I said, and they both gave me nods of acknowledgement.

"Stepak's new here. But he's already experienced some of the vile intolerance spewed out by this school system." she shook her fist at no-one in particular. She sat down firmly and spoke,"In solidarity, I'm staging a protest against the school lunch board. Who's with me?"

The two of them exchanged looks. "Not that I'm not totally all for helping out our new buddy Stepak," Stu gave me a look of assurance. "But is this another hunger strike? Cause my dad says I can't do those any more..."

Suzie opened her mouth to say something but I jumped in, "No, no it's okay- you don't need to do that for me. Why...why don't we do something else, like...I could shoot an exposé about the state of the caf! I make films in my spare time, got a video camera. Maybe-"

"That's actually a... great idea, Stepak!" Suzie said, ecstatic. "And really great for the club, too."

"The club?" I asked. (Seriously, was there anyone in this school who wasn't part of a club?) "Of course!" she said. "We're the A.N.S.C.E.S.E.C! A. Nigma Students Club for Enacting Social and Environmental Change. We're totally chartered and everything. But everyone calls us the Tree Huggers for some reason..._plebians_..." she shook her head. Then she held out her hand. "So...are you in?" she looked up at me over her glasses, hopeful.

"Um...sure!" I said, and a warm filter filled the rest of the day in that happy high school dream of (sorta) fitting in. The next few months I got to hang out on the school rooftop during frees with our organic garden (and get some great shots of the smoggy skyline), hang out under the bleachers for a psa on littering (and get some great shots, no, not up people's skirts. I did catch the coach telling Trevor Mars 'not to worry' about his English grade and asking him if his dad was having any pool parties anytime soon) and I did get candy payoffs from Wurst so Suzie would stop pestering him about where the fundraisers money was going. The stew wasn't bad either.

Things were going pretty good for me!

And then I met him.

* * *

Who knew one rainy morning in mid January that I'd walk into him. Chaz Moneranian. The first solo anchor A. Nigma had known, ever since the Senior Anchor dropped out for an internship somewhere at the Mobile Wireless Federation, right after announcing some big 'breakthrough' story (all his stories were complete crock if you ask me, the guy thought the janitors were robots...) Anyways, if you went to A. Nigma you knew Chaz, you didn't have to like him but you knew if he wanted he could mess with your rep, so all the popular kids tolerated him even if he was a wannabe.

Suzie called him the face of vapid popular culture and social stratification and always glared when his show came on in Homeroom. I pretended to glare. But I thought his face was...well, gorgeous. Hey, I'm into film! I'm a very...visual person. And Chaz just happened to be- from a _totally objective_ artistic perspective- _really_ freakin gorgeous. His voice was great too- I could hear him trashing celebrities on an event show on cable. And his teeth- and his hair. It was way too perfect to be real. I thought about reaching into the TV screen just to muss it up a bit. I looked around cause suddenly it felt like everyone might somehow see what I was thinking like it was being projected on my face. The camera wasn't doing him justice though. Way too zoomed out, out of focus every five seconds and, ugh, that lighting...

Right now it was the soft orange light of the streetlamp scattered by the rain and dimmed by the heavy grey clouds. And Chaz's usual cocky smile was replaced with a look of genuine concern, he was sheltering under one hand while waving the other dramatically,

"Help! Celebrity in jeopardy, here- I can _not_ mess up my pomp! I've got Morning News to host! It's an emergency, people!" I hustled over and put my binder over him. He had to duck down a little, he was pretty tall. And close. He breathed a sigh of relief, and I inhaled the subtle scent of mint.

"Thanks." he said, straightening the lapels of his jacket. "It's always great to meet a fan of the Chaz. Lucky you were following me or the Hair could've been history!"

"I-I'm not a fan." I said. Okay, _why_ did I say that? Had Suzie brainwashed me that bad? For the first time during this encounter he looked me in the eyes. Then, for some reason he...smiled.

"Can I buy you a coffee?" he said suddenly, like I hadn't said anything at all. He held my gaze and I couldn't figure out what to say.

"Coffee?" I repeated. _Real smooth, Stepak._

"Y'know, 'coffee'?...Drink it to stay awake- looks like mud, tastes like sunshine- Love the stuff!" I just stared at him. _The way he slurred his 's's... _

"...Coffee?" he repeated, arching an eyebrow. "Cup of Juan? Jet fuel? Bean Juice?" he tilted his head. _Say something already! He thinks you're an idiot!_

"I know what coffee is!" I blurted._ Great. Now he knows you're an idiot. _

"I mean, I just don't get to have it that often..."

This was true. Some time in the past months I learned Suzie was anti-caffeine (she called it the opiate of the masses). I'd been learning a lot of things about Suzie, actually. How she'd shout herself hoarse over the Bird Watcher club buying a cage but could care less about my project 'Free the Taz.' How she wouldn't support D.o.D concerts because rock n' roll was 'weaponized musical talent meant to corrupt youth energy'- whatever _that_ meant. How she made mooing sounds when I brought sheer khurma to lunch. How when it came down to it she let me take the fall for her big Pull-the-fire-alarm-to-interrupt-a-frog-dissection-class stunt. I was the one in detention for a week while she got off just cause her parents pull big cash on the PTA and they didn't want their precious Suzanne to get a bad permanent record. (What would be the point of all that activism if it didn't get you college credit?) I was the one picking up trash on all those beach cleanups, camera in one hand. Because she had 'sensitive skin' and the guys were 'too tired'. I was the one who got two black eyes from the Shop class bullies after they found out we were the ones who kept hiding their wood and composting it. Who cared what Suzie thought. I was done with those Tree Huggers and I'd drink all the coffee I wanted.

_Non-organic, full-dairy, corporate coffee._

"Well then today's your lucky day!" said Chaz, like I'd just won a prize on a game show. "_You_ get to have coffee with _me_ before I get on air.

"S'the least I can do since you got me out of that pickle just now- and you _do_ have an umbrella!" he chuckled at his own sense of humour.

"I know this great little cafe a block down from here. I always get a tall one on the way." He gestured down the street in the direction of A. Nigma. I wondered why he hadn't been dropped off there in the first place, and why he didn't have an umbrella. I'd never seen him on the street car. Didn't he have a driver? I suddenly imagined Chaz calling after a distant car, wet and flustered. realized he was waiting for my reply- I swallowed hard. I'd already made my choice but there was something about his eyes on me that made it hard to speak. Before I could finish nodding he spun me around, grabbed my hand and pulled me along. through the rush of cold wind and into the mellow orange heat of the empty coffee place. It mixed with the warmth that was creeping up my neck as I noticed my hand still in his.

* * *

"So, Stepluck." Chaz said finally, putting down his coffee. It sure was a complicated order. Half fat, half caf, steamed to 103 degrees exactly, two shots of caramel, one of chai and one of vanilla bean. _Never just 'vanilla'.What is it with rich people and saying vanilla-bean? _

The baristas had sighed as soon as Chaz stepped in, greeting the sparse morning crowd like an audience while I tried to fade out. and I swear I caught two of them doing rock-paper-scissors over who would have to take his order. He sat across the table from me. One of those small, two-people tables that made you look like a couple or something. I tried to avoid our knees touching but Chaz seemed determined to be as comfortably close as possible. A small tea-light gave a warm glow to his features. Now _that_ was good lighting.

"Stepak, actually..." I corrected him. "Hm?" he said, looking up from a stack of papers I was pretty sure were his news copy for the morning's stories. He looked bored with them.

"Yeah, so- Steepak, what exactly is it that you do? I mean I don't exactly see you ending up with a spread in the yearbook. Like slumming it with the Tree Huggers, eh?" he winked at me for some reason.

"Slumming it?" I questioned.

"Oh, _come on_, Stepnick." he said, rolling his eyes. "A face like that doesn't exactly fit in with the _burlap bunch_. The Swim clique, maybe, but not unless you're hiding a killer set of abs under that shirt." He pointed at me with his pen and looked me up and down. Wait...was there a compliment somewhere in there? Did he just call me handsome?

"I'm not...I mean I'm not friends with them anymore." I said, looking away. "We're...too _different_."

"Great, great." he said, not catching my tone at all. Was he looking at his reflection in the tabletop?

"So,what exactly _is_ it you don't like about my show?" he said, suddenly looking at me again. "Fan or not, comments matter to The Chaz! I'm interested!" he leaned in, resting his head on his hands and looked at me expectantly with his TV smile.

I took a second to answer and I felt his impatience turn to nervousness- he was tapping his heel on the floor.

"Uh- I don't _not_ like it I just...the presentation needs work." I said hastily, partly cause I didn't want to piss him off and partly cause, well, I didn't wanna hurt his feelings. He _was_ buying me coffee after all.

Chaz looked shocked, "Is it the music? Because I'm supposed to get the D.o.D to work on some riffs for my own theme tune- right now we're just working with that androgynous Emo nerd who plays the xylophone and-"

"No, no...it's not the music-" I jumped in before he got too worked up. "It's just ...that cameraman isn't doing you justice."

He paused, then his smile picked up on one side.

"Oh, _really_?" he said, giving me a half-lidded look that suggested he was savvy to something I wasn't sure was exactly true...yet.

"And do _you_ think you could do me-" he leaned in closer, "-justice?"

If he couldn't tell before he had to be able to see how red I was getting.

"Um- I...uh..." my thoughts trailed off in a weird mixture of panic and excitement. My eyes darted towards his lips. They were particularly- I mean kind of- well, _supple_ looking... Okay maybe that thing I wasn't so sure about was starting to feel a little bit more...sure.

"So what do you say, Step-check?We give that little camera technerd the boot and get you a shiny new spot on the News team. And," he chuckled- like he knew he'd already got me. Man, I wanted to bite the smirk off his face. Wait-

"-You get to use the big camera." For one second I thought about that pile of savings up in my room, tucked under my VHS player. Yep, I had had my eye on getting the real thing instead of my dinky birthday camcorder for quite. a. while...

"Whenever you want." he finished, suddenly casual- leaning back in his seat like he hadn't been putting thoughts in my head from the time he pulled me in here. Crossing his legs oh-so-freakin' casually like he wasn't just trying to brush against me through my hemp jeans. (Suzie's idea) Sipping the last of his coffee and tossing the cup carelessly. _Looking at me again. Looking so freakin'_-

"Okay." I said. "Yeah, deal." I nodded, and just for emphasis downed the last of my drink and dunked it deliberately into the bin. The _non-recycling_ bin.

"_Super._" He said, stashing the papers back into his designer man-bag. He got up and so did I, facing him. I was actually pretty glad with how this'd worked out! I held out my hand so we could seal the deal and _that_ was when he pushed his lips against mine and everything went... all soft focus-y.

Chaz Moneranian's manicured fingers ran up my front and the shivers went instantly down my back. I wish I could say I was soundless but I'm pretty sure I let some of my totally-really-sure-now-ness show because he responded with his own little sound of satisfaction, arching closer against me. My eyes shut, partly in concentration and partly because...I wanted to really feel this- this- everything. Warmer, warmer, hot. Like his mouth where he was searing into me. Nudged closer, breathing hitched. I bit.

_Yep, so right about the supple thing._

I wanted to grip him to the tabletop and ripple my hand through his perfect freaking hair and say things that'd make _him_ blush for once, make him bite his sweet, teasing, minty lips, say my name..._say it right_.

And at the same time a part of me wanted to let him do whatever he wanted, kiss me, grab my attention, _grab my shirt_, smear lipgloss wherever he wanted just so he could keep tangling me up in this fluttery caffeinated high for a little longer.

And then, just like that- he pulled away, leaving me hot all over, except for my lips which were moist from his, growing colder. I was craving him already. My eyes blinked open and my hand flew to rub the back of my neck awkwardly. For one fleeting second I thought about what his kisses would feel like there.

"News Team meets at seven every morning so we can get started before homeroom. Bring coffee but... _don't_ bring those shoes." he gestured at my cork sandals- I didn't look down, I was still in a fog. "I'll have my people call your people. So long, Step-check!" he waved, looking back briefly (and...fondly?) before slipping out the door quicker than he'd slipped me the tongue.

"It's Stepak." I said to the empty shop.

* * *

The next few months would be a blur of perfectly focused News shoots, morning coffee runs and rushed makeout sessions behind the scenes, under desks and inside closets. Usually followed by a hasty re-application of hairspray or coverup for hickeys while I pretended to adjust the tripod. Gym was better with Chaz, and he could get me out of it on School News Business, the way he could always get what he wanted. Especially from me, anytime. Even when he did participate to show off his short sportswear and his running legs - I knew at least part of it was for me and the perfectness of that view probably kept me from flunking out of track. Class was better with Chaz, he had a bad habit of falling asleep or updating his feed via phone, and I was the lucky classmate with the job of poking him awake. A job I abused for my own amusement even though it sometimes meant more time holding his man-bag to make up for it. Weekends were better with Chaz, did I mention he had an infinity pool and a dad who was always out of town? Lunch was better with Chaz, he had VIP catering access even though what he really wanted was a spot at the VIP table. (Like a lot of things, it was wrong but it tasted _so right_.)

Chaz wanted- needed people to believe he was perfect, needed people to keep saying his name. I served that purpose pretty well seeing as to me he kinda was, despite his catty sense of humour and addiction to drama. He was my muse and I was his cameraguy. I needed to feel useful, expert- I didn't mind being bossed around as long as I could do what I did best. And, I guess...I needed someone to always be there. With their favours, their cheap laughs, with whining, with projects, with kisses. It wasn't til later on I realized maybe Chaz needed someone that way too.

* * *

It was graduation and Chaz was going up for an award for exceptional journalism. (Hey, his show did tend to stray from boring event reports but it got good ratings- and he'd managed being a solo reporter for a whole year). His dad had been getting his hopes up for a month about showing up to read the prize winners, since an appearance by TorontoTV's Dash Moneranian at the A. Nigma hall would bring in plenty of publicity. Chaz had been tanning his bod and whitening his teeth to catch some glare off his trophy (or off his father's eclipsing stardom, I forget which), he'd been practicing his winning smile just to end up sitting on the school steps, crumpled program in hand, his face buried against my chest, occasionally choking out the words 'he _promised_' and '_was it so hard to just show up_' and '_stupid gala_.' I wiped his eyes with some tissues. He blew his nose emphatically and handed them back to me. I took them gingerly and tossed them into the trash. His brown eyes followed it and he sniffled. "Just like my career- I'm ruined!" I wasn't one for words so I comforted him the only way I knew how. I kissed his neck while complimenting him on his charming stage presence, his perfect smile. How you could _totally definitely_ not hear his voice crack when he went up to make his thank-you speech, with Wurst speed-reading the prizes like he was in a hurry to get out of there. When they rushed him off stage. I wasn't one for violence either but I _really_ wanted to punch someone out. Mr. Moneranian didn't give a monopoly dollar about his son's budding career, his first boyfriend- the guy probably wasn't even watching to see his first steps. To Dash M. you had to be somebody to matter, and it was clear to anyone who'd been in the Moneranian house that to him, Chaz wasn't somebody. Just a sad shadow in the wake of his own legacy. Just someone whose gold card he signed for without looking up from his work. But that was another story, and one that I knew Chaz couldn't handle. Right now was about cheering him up. I nuzzled his neck some more.

"Mmmm...no, no- wait- you don't understand-" he said, pushing me off him, "I mean it. I'm _really_ ruined. Old _Bowler Hat_ told me after the show that next year they're hiring someone new for News Team. Some Freshman girl who won one too many essay contests. He said I'd 'had a good run' and I should 'take a break.'" he made air quotes around Wurst's words.

"That's what they say to has-beens, Stepak!" he panicked (this was bad, he'd forgotten to forget how to say my name).

"They're... going to _replace_ me..." he said, his voice sounding strangled. I found his hand and gripped it tight.

"No, they're not. Listen...they can't replace you. Cause-" I struggled for words. I thought of something.

"Because _you're..._" when he didn't say anything I gestured at him to get my cue. "_You're..._" I repeated. He looked at me quizzically for a second before mouthing "Oh!", giving the wink as if to say "Gotcha." and clearing his throat.

"_I'm Chaz Moneranian!_" his voice rang out in the corridor. I mimed rubbing my ear.

"Okay, _Chaz Moneranian_, I don't think they heard us over in Alberta." I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes, and elbowed me in the chest "Psh- whatever, Steephill."

I laughed despite myself. "That one doesn't even rhyme!" I said incredulously. _Someone_ ha their sass back.

"Rhyme with _what?_" he replied smoothly, before getting up from the steps and carefully dusting off his jeans. He reached out and I knew it was for his bag, I could pick myself up.

"Yep." I thought aloud. "Next year isn't gonna be any different."

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review as this sustains my life force._

_Expect a part 2 (chronology-wise) to this chapter from Chaz's perspective. _


	6. Cheer

**I said the next chapter would be Chaz-centric, but let's hold off on that for a while. For now expect some Grayson/Nadene, Camillio/Holger and a little bit of a plot. Don't worry, the News star does make an appearance...**

* * *

"Is it cold in here or what?" said Nadene, pulling her hoodie closer over her head. Her fellow geniuses had been spending the majority of the day's last period and shared spare together in their secret room in the library.

"Uh, not to be devil's advocate but...technically coldness is relative, so my opinion's no good." said Grayson, shrugging over the stacks of essay papers on his personal desk space (it was the neatest desk in the room) complete with calendar, a leather-bound complete works of Chaucer and an old-fashioned type writer.  
"Computer says the air conditioning unit's stabilized to the usual, approximated to the nearest point zero zero zero one degrees. Heh." offered the short kid in the basketball shirt known as Techie.

"Pssh, yeah. But there's an error radius of one point five whole degrees. Fact check much?" interjected Irwin, sneering before getting back to his surface integral workout. "It's not cold. And quit using the imperial standard. The metric is _far _superior." he shut his eyes with an air of correctitude.

"Hey! That's not very nice! His surface-to-volume ratio's bigger. Course he'd think it's cold." said Ruby, ducking under her desk and retrieving a planet that had fallen off the kinetic solar system after some enthusiastic orbit calculation...or repeated spinning out of boredom. She popped back up "-Even though metric _is_ better."

"Hey, you're shorter than me!" piped up the Tech Nerd, but nobody seemed to notice so he went back to cheat-coding Virtual Dungeon Maze 3.

"Excuse me?" said Nadene, crossing her arms at the ginger boy. "Not all of us got Mathlete sweaters -and all that_ hot air_ to keep us warm. I was askin' cause...I brought hot chocolate." she put her hands in her hoodie pockets and brought out several packets of the good stuff.

"Sweet!" said Ruby, shuffling over "Got any marshmallows?" Nadene put her hands in her pockets and shook her head. "Aw, well, cocoa is cocoa!"

"This more than makes up for this afternoon's...Turkey Lasagna incident..." said Techie trying not to savour the distinctly un-savoury memory from lunch.

"Aw, gee, thanks Nadene!" said Grayson, smiling up at her while applying hand-sanitzer and rubbing his palms.

Irwin narrowed his eyes at her comment but conceded, "_You're just lucky I like cocoa._"

* * *

After heating up their mugs over the bunsen burner at Nadene's desk and toasting to their sweet new base of operations (much better than the Biology Lab, which smelled like formaldehyde) the club dispersed to their desks, except for Grayson who'd stayed at hers.

"So...Nadene," he said, fidgeting with his brake, "is that a new pair of glasses?"

"They said no, Grayson- nothin' I can do about it." stated Nadene flatly, dusting off her hands and setting aside her beakers.

"Wh-I don't understand? I've had such a good run!" said Grayson incredulously, "I've got perfect attendance...I tutored the Jocks for pete's sake."

"Yeah, for _one_ day- before you started runnin' your little operation." she responded, eyeing him over her glasses. Grayson was flushed under her honest stare. And also because he thought her eyes looked nice- grey brown- like the most intense Igneous Diorite. Even though she favoured Chemistry and Biology, Nadene had a thing for rocks- and she always spent a little time synthesizing crystals for her garden. 'Never-ever-ever separate the solvent.' was what she always said while Grayson leaned in closer- to look at the rocks. Just like he he was doing right now, and totally not staring at her at all. That was why she was raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well I-" he started, snapping out of it, "-just thought that maybe with you being on the Student Council and all...you could maybe get them to change their minds about the whole punishment thing." explained Grayson, sounding less hopeful as he finished.

Nadene looked at him thoughtfully again then raised a hand to her chin. He thought about her thought process.

_Stop thinking about girls' thought processes!_

"Maybe...we can't get you outta trouble- but I could see if there's a loophole in the bylaws. Hey, Rubes- you wanna give me a hand?" she turned her attention to a bored-looking Ruby (who happened to be a speed-reader with photographic retention) who perked up.

"Can I borrow your mp3 player?" she responded skittishly.

"Yeah- just don't delete anything this time. Took me forever to get that new M.C. Slice album." she said, digging the purple-plated device it out of her pocket and handing it over to the younger girl.

"Yes!" said Ruby, punching her small fist in the air. "And I didn't delete anything- I just got this weird virus on it last month that wiped everything except that weird techno song from the Prank." she explained offhandedly. "I didn't even know you were into that stuff."

"I'm not- techno is _not_ my thing." replied Nadene before adding, "No offence, T."

"None taken, Nadene." said the Tech Nerd who was composing an 8-bit chip tune for his game mod.

"Hmmm..." said Nadene, pensively. Before shaking her head and picking up the A. Nigma High School Charter from her desk and tossing it to Ruby.

"Scan for loopholes- anything to do with penalties, 'specially in the plagiarism and dishonesty section." she glanced at Grayson again in that way that made his stomach twist with guilt. She was already doing him a favour, and the people he'd blackmailed had helped him get a reduced sentence when he turned himself in by not mentioning that he'd sold them the A+ assignments (Consider it payback for all those years of bullying!) He just really didn't want to have detention. He didn't know if he could deal with all that time away from the Genius Club...away from-

"Nadene, far be it for me to suggest a solution to your admittedly entertaining little dilemma-" interjected Irwin, the Club's unofficial leader and resident evil genius, "but what about a more..._diplomatic_ approach?"

"What are you thinkin' of, Irwin?" asked Nadene with a hint of suspicion. "Spill already."

"I'm just saying that _President_ Beth...isn't without her weaknesses..." he continued, his eyes narrowing with just a little bit of residual resentment for the vice-president of the Mathletes who he had supported in the election but for whom he was harboring a little jealousy because of her ascension to real power.

"Drop the villain routine, Irwin." stated Nadene, "And fix your shirt, I can see your full name." she gestured at the embroidered sliver of underwear elastic that was peeking out of his too-high trousers. Grayson stifled a chuckle and Irwin adjusted it quickly.

"As I was saying...Beth's_ little boyfriend_ could be your get-out-of-jail card." he started, trumming his fingers together maniacally. "

"What are you getting at..." said Grayson, knowing where the was going was bound to be bad.

* * *

"Whoopee!" shouted Holgermeister, opening his locker so enthusiastically the door made Camillio's Lance Pinto backpack fall out onto the ex Prez's head. Cam pushed it back up, not saying anything. A bunch of cheer leaders had just walked by (of course) to see his latest fail. And he'd tripped over a hurdle on the track in P.E earlier- Holger had been there too. And the Viking boy tried to wipe the dust off his face -with spit. Oh, and chiquita-leaders had been there too. Cam just wanted today to hurry up and end already, but there was one last hurdle to get over.

"Oh! Sorry, friend. Holger is so excited about the cheer tryouts, part the sequel!" said Holger enthusiastically. He beamed behind his orange-tinted ski sunglasses and put on two wristbands in the A. Nigma colours. It was supposed to be green and gold, but Cam always thought they looked more like moss green and puke brown.

There was a giggle over by the lockers.

_But even on a chiquita-leader it could look good._

Holger tipped his head back to drink some Alpine mineral water, his shimmery hair flowed down his back over his thin cotton shirt. Even though the hallway looked dark and gloomy, Holger...shone somehow. And it was weird but even in something as dorky as yellow short-shorts Holger was,well, he was-

"You're blockin' the view, dude!" said Camillio, craning his neck to get a better look of the chiquita-leaders preening in front of their lockers by the door of the Gym. "She's doing that pouty-lippy-mirror thing again." he said, leaning against his locker with half lidded eyes.

_Toni..._

Camillio shook his head and set his thoughts back to 24/7 thoughts-about-Brandy autopilot lockout mode.

_Brandy..._

"Cam! How do _I_ look? Ready for operation Impress-Cheer-Squad-with-the-Fleecy-Röksvampen-of-Triumph?!" Holger popped up so close in front of him he bumped back into his locker. His head was tilted to the side like he was waiting for Cam to tell him how weirdly cute he looked with a strand of blonde hair sorta clinging to his lower lip a little.

"Dude!" He said, pushing two green and gold pom-poms out of his face. "Rocks of what? You look fine, geez, let's just do this already."

Holger just nodded, bubbling over with school spirit like that morning's pot of homeroom breakfast goutenberry-narwhal fondue.

* * *

The Genius Clique filed out of the library, Ruby with headphones on mouthing Patsy for Hire lyrics, Tech Nerd ducking her hyperactive air guitar and Irwin looking more self-satisfied that usual.

It was Nadene who cornered him after the bell rang. Well, not cornered so much as blocked.

_She's so...obstinate..._

"What's up, Nadene?" asked Grayson, looking up to meet her eyes.

"Irwin's idea is sick, Gray." she said, "Not sick like illin', sick as in morally compromised." She had to clarify, it was Grayson she was talking to and he was definitely not savvy to street slang.

"I- I know that!" he said. It was hard to speak straight with her leaning over. Her hand was gripping the vinyl of his arm rest and he subconsciously twitched his arm closer to it.

"I wouldn't actually...do that- I just nodded to get him to quit acting so creepy!" explained Grayson.

Her eyes searched him for one moment more before she relaxed, he felt her stand up and put her hands in her hoodie pockets.

"Good." she concluded. "Because she might be a pain but that girl already has it hard enough with that crazy schedule. And keepin' her relationship with a 15th grader on the down low is hard enough without someone blackmailin' her." she reasoned. Nadene was always so _reasonable_. In the Castles and Serpents she could've been the fairest maiden in all the land. Except in apparent reality she was just the fairest judge in all of the Student Council. And she didn't like the word 'fair.'

_I gotta remember not to use that when I ask her out -If I ask her out... if I even have a chance._

"-Which, may I remind you is why you're in trouble in the first place." she said, but she was smiling. He smiled back.

"I gotta meet the guys at the corner to take the street car together. Accompany me to the entrance?"

Nadene held out her arm for him to...take? He wasn't so sure what he was supposed to do with it so he just stared at her palm. Should he say something clever?

_Your chariot awaits, m'lady- no, too geeky. Plus it wasn't like your chair was much of a chariot, not like she was gonna sit in your lap. _

_Although the thought did have some appeal... _

She had a band-aid on her thumb that stood out against her skin which looked...soft.

"Heh- sure!" he said, quick enough to avoid too much awkward And stuck his out a little over enthusiastically to hold hers.

_Well, as far as observations went...'soft' was accurate..._

The minute or so it took for them to go from the library down the main hall was one of the dizziest, goggle-foggingly, strangely pleasant moments of his life.

_And as far as descriptors went, it was insufficient._

He rolled over an irregularity in the floor outside the Forbidden Hallway he usually remembered to avoid and his chair lurched slightly. As a reflex she squeezed his hand.

"Nadene..." her name escaped from his mouth like a plea.

"What up, Gray?" she said, raising an eyebrow a little, slowing down towards the door to the school entrance. She pushed forward.

He pushed forward.

"Nadene..." he tried to say it smoother this time, he only had one shot at this. "D'you...wanna-"

Suddenly Nadene dropped his hand and glared. "Hmph. _Skaters._"

* * *

Camillio took a seat at the bottom of the gym bleachers before taking a wary look around the fluorescent-bright court.

_Woah...kinda crowded...like, since when did cheer tryouts get this popular? _

Everyone was there but Brandy, he missed seeing her around- currently she was stuck in some Glama-drama. Lee was off doing some Prank-spiracy-thingy and the girl he was kindof-sortof-dating couldn't even chill out with him by his lockers after class. Cause Kimmie was more important to her than her mucho-important-maybe-wannabe-boyfriend. Still, he scanned the crowd for some sign of her dark blonde hair, or maybe her hot pink lipstick or-

_/And your eyes blue like the sky/ _his cell ringtone came from somewhere in his baggy pants.

"Cam here, lay it on me." he responded casually. Lee's voice came to him in that familiar panicky whisper. He was probably-

"I'm in the tunnels and Biffy's reception is static-y. Could you peek outside and check if Barrage is anywhere near the library?"

"Nah, he's in here. Dude's really into school spirit or whatever. Need anything else? I could use a distraction from...this."

Holger, who was doing some stretching poked his head between his ankles and waved upside-down at Camillio.

_Stupid short-shorts._

"Is friend Cam talking to Lee? HI LEE!" shouted Holger across the gymnasium, cupping his hand to his mouth. Some of the cool kids pointed and a few people whipped around so they'd know exactly who they should be laughing at. Cam receded into his coat.

"Ha, is that Holg?" said Lee, sounding amused. "Tell him I'm sending happy good luck vibes his way and I'd totally be there if it weren't for- ah! Gotta go!" he hung up on his homie (as usual) and Camillio resisted the urge to throw his phone on the ground, a habit he could never break but that didn't matter so much with his own, oldschool beat-up cell.

Holger had left him his phone so it wouldn't break, along with his sunglasses.

While Cam looked to his left he noticed about half the football and swim teams combined. Gordon, Reinard and Oliver got good-luck kisses from three girls he knew from the yearbook committee. On the lips. He shook his head and looked away even if that meant looking at Holger again.

He almost never took his sunglasses off. Without them Cam could see that his skin was as pale as the snow caps in Vikingland. And his eyes were blue, like- like-

_Wait, I so wasn't thinking that just now. _

_Man, why did cheerleaders- and Holger- make everything so weird?_

Camillio thought that maybe he could distract himself with a game of Disgruntled Pigeons until this whole thing was over.

"Cam! Oh, Cam- Holger is almost forgetting the kiss-for-good-luck-times, ja?" Cam almost dropped his phone this time, eyes widened. Holger leaped over to where he was sitting, Cam's eyes darted towards the exit and he scooched over and ducked back quick enough to avoid the lips that were leaning in towards him.

Holger got up from kissing the bleachers with a tiny 'pop' sound and a quizzical look.

"Um, question..." he asked, "Why is Cam running away from the greatest-of-luck kissy-times?"

"I'm not running away-I mean, yeah!" Cam said, regaining his composure from freaked out to ticked off as he could hear people shushing each other, turning heads, whispering. The whispering got louder and he couldn't make out any one word, but all together it sounded like they were saying his name, and another word he never wanted to hear next to it.

"Yeah, I'm running away!" he answered, flinging his hands angrily in the air. "Kissing is totally gross, dude." he punctuated the 'dude' like a full stop, adjusting his fur collar and scanning the room. He finally felt he was winning them back over, maybe even fewer fingers were pointing at him.

"Unless it's from a chiquita-leader." finished Camillio. Somewhere Dickie was sniggering- but good sniggering, like he was on his side. Yep, he could almost pretty much dust this whole sucky scenario off his hands and walk away.

Except Holger's eyes didn't move their focus from Cam and he felt a little uneasy as a soft, almost unnoticeable-if-you-didn't-know-him sniffle escaped from the Vikinglander and those blue-as-whatever eyes shone with something very different than school spirit. Camillio felt himself wince in reflex before Holger, struck by some idea, perked up and offered,

"But maybe _Holger_ is soon to be becoming the chiquita-leader, ja?" He nodded excitedly, holding the pom-poms up against his chin. "So kissing is ja, no?"

"No dude, no! Kissing is no, comprende? N-O. Lemme say it in Spanish, ¡NO! Not Viking enough for you? Okay how about NEJ! _I do not wanna kiss you._ I do. not. want. to. kiss. you. _You-" shouted Cam, shoving himself to a standing position, "A_re _not-" he prodded__ his friend in the chest with his index finger,_ "-A chiquita leader!" shouted Cam, He was still much shorter than the blonde boy but with his chest puffed out with hard angry exhales and Holger sinking into himself, fiddling with his wrist bands, you could hardly tell.

And finally, there was total and complete silence from the crowd. That look came back to Holger's face, like he was about to cry. But Camillio didn't blink this time, he dared him with his eyes. Then Holger clenched his fists so hard his knuckles went white, and he shut his eyes hard before opening them again.

"Holger...understand." he said finally, though at Cam's silence the momentary resolve faltered and he bit his lip and spun around so he wasn't facing him.

"_Will you Sally sad-saps quit your cryin' and get back to the try-outs!_" shouted Barrage from the judging table, where he was seated between two cheerleaders. "What in Sam-hell ever happened to school spirit?" he added, shaking his head in exhasperation. For some reason, Cam got the feeling the Principal's robot eye was looking at him. He pulled up his coat, picked up his stuff and walked out of the auditorium. There was nothing left to do.

* * *

_A. Nigma's resident Skater Clique had occupied the ramp._

_Skaters. They were almost as bad as Jocks, not as much of a threat but they were definitely low as far as cranial capacity and attention went. And they'd claimed the wheelchair ramp that was supposed to be there for students like me. Well, me, seeing as no-one else at A. Nigma used a wheelchair. That wheelchair ramp was there when I knew passing through those front doors would mean getting dogpiled, disrespected and done all manner of wrong (I shuddered to remember the beetle-eating incident) by my jeering peers. _

_The first time they built the ramp it was sloped way too steep for regulation. Everyone laughed and crowded around cause they thought I wouldn't make it, but I showed them. Conquering the ramp secured me a place here and I wasn't that weird kid who liked dragons and Shakespeare and whose aunt had to help lift him up the steps because his legs were wobbly. _

_The first time I came up the old ramp was the first time I felt unstoppable. I had momentum. And people here only respected you here once you were a force to be reckoned with. My essay operation had got me plenty of respect, ill-got respect but respect nonetheless. And it was so satisfying getting to turn the tables on the people who'd looked a me like I was pathetic. Not Nadene, she wasn't like Chaz or Dickie or Evan or any of the other kids who pointed at me. _

_T__he first time she saw me coming out of my car on the first day. She was leaning against the side of the school building listening to some beats._

_"Hey kid," she said, and I mentally prepared for whatever taunt was coming my way._

_"Nice rims." she'd said, nodding her chin at me in that way I now knew was 'street' for respect._

_But the Skaters had no respect for me or my lady friend or the fact that I was on a quest. They had no respect for the wheels. And they left gum everywhere._

* * *

Nadene let go of his hand and crossed her arms. Grayson suddenly didn't know what to do with his own. Even though technically he'd been doing fine all those years without touching a girl he seemed to have forgotten how to _not_.

"Sup, egg-heads!" said Zed in the middle of some kind of athletic manoeuvre. Jet looked on, flipping his board on the ground with his foot.

"Why'd you have to say 'eggs', dude! Now I'm all...hungry and stuff." answered Ned, stopping his skate-pacing for a second to play with his wheel.

"What? Zed has free stuff? Cool, I want some!" said Red, the long-haired skater in the red hoodie, who had turned around mid air jump over a bush and ended up crashing into the other two.

The three of them lay, clutching their knees and groaning on the ground in the aftermath of the collision.

"Ow!" said Zed, rubbing his head. "Lame!"

"Lame-er!" said Red, pointing at Zed.

Grayson glared through his goggles but Nadene spoke up.

"Can y'all quit tossin' around the L word? Cause you're gonna need to move so me and my boy Gray here can pass."

_She called me her boy..._

_Oh! Be still my beating aortic valve!_

"Wha- why do _we_ have to move?" said Zed incredulously.

"Yeah! Yeah why can't you guys just..._move!_" said Red, spinning her skateboard and almost hitting herself in the face in the process.

"Yeah, move!" said Ned.

"_You_ want _us_ to move." said Nadene, humourlessly.

"Yeah!" said Jet, "This is our spot, like, find your own."

"Alright, geniuses, where else do you suggest my friend with the wheels go to exit the school, besides the school exit?"

"Hey- _you're_ the geniuses!" said Zed, brows furrowing.

"Ch'yeah- and he means that...in a _bad_ way." added Jet, unhelpfully.

Nadene shook her head and stepped forward, "Ooh if it weren't against article 64 in the school rules I'd kick all your butts all the way down the street and-"

"These guys messin' with you, 'Deenie?" came a voice from the sidewalk. It was the other guys of the Hip-Hop clique. The Skaters parted like the red sea as Big B showed up followed by the perpetually ticked-off looking Evan and the tall, quiet guy in the shade hat, Ocho.

"Not anymore." she said, smiling to one side. "See ya, G.P!" She saw me down the steps before becoming absorbed in her swaggering posse, waving at Grayson over her shoulder with B's headphones over her ears.

Grayson sighed before heading down the street. Maybe he'd pass a comic book store and drown his failure in poignant battle scenes.

_Battles that were actually won._

* * *

"Hey, Stepinch." spoke a voice into his gold-plated cellphone. The voice belonged to someone who'd been standing, shadowed by the lockers outside the school library, thinking fondly and amusedly at the juicy bit of conversation he'd just overheard. He'd been on his way to cover cheerleader tryouts and he'd found something that always cheered him up: vicious gossip.

There was a sigh from the other end of the line,"...Yes, Chaz?"

"Guess who's got their (perfectly manicured) hands on some _breaking_ news."


End file.
